FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE

Wednesday

Oh, the humanity!

The allegations of torture at Guantanamo continue. As the captured al-Qaeda training manual, The Manchester Document, instructs:

"Avoid revealing information at all costs, don't give your real name and claim that you were mistreated or tortured during your detention."

The detainees at Guantanamo are really taking that instruction to heart, no matter how ludicrous it is. They flushed my Koran! They are making me listen to loud music! Now...

They are feeding me too much!

They are claiming that they are being abused by the high-calorie diet being served to them. One detainee has nearly doubled in weight to 410 lbs!

Why are we serving them so much high-high calorie food? According to Navy Cmdr. Robert Durand, spokesman for the detention facilities at Guantanamo:

"The detainees are advised that they are offered more food than necessary, to provide choice and variety, and that consuming all the food they are offered will result in weight gain."

But, much like the morons in this country who decide to sue McDonald's for making them fat, the blame is not being placed on eating too much. They blame the food.

So, you think, this is a joke. Who cares if they are complaining? They will try anything to cry, "TORTURE!" Well, you're right. But, human rights groups in this country are...surprise, surprise...siding with the terrorists:

"Human rights groups attribute the weight gain to lack of exercise. They cite accounts of released detainees who complained they were allowed to exercise fewer than three times a week outside their small cells."

Cry me a river!

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