FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE

Tuesday

Who needs trees anyway?

It’s time, once again, for another report on Global Warming. Remember, it’s going to kill us all. Even though the earth’s temperature has only risen 1 degree Fahrenheit in the last 100 years, the polar ice caps will soon melt. The entire earth’s population will soon be destroyed. Get ready. It’s comin’.

Anyway, a fascinating new study has just been released. And, it’s findings sound strangely familiar.

According to this study, deforestation (cutting down trees) contributes to Global Warming. Wait…did I read that right? Let me read it again.

No. I’m sorry. I misread it. It actually says, FORESTS contribute to Global Warming.” That’s right. We’ve heard for years that cutting down trees will lead to warming. Now, this study tells us that:

“By the year 2100, if all the forests were cut and left to rot, the annual global mean temperature would decrease by more than 0.5 degree Fahrenheit.”

I…I…I have a headache. The study goes on to cite a lot of scientific jargon about tropical trees vs. nontropical trees. You can read it for yourself. But, I think someone should really tell the Trees For Life group about this study.

I’m simply posting this study to illustrate the absurdity of the Church of Global Warming. Everything man does causes Global Warming! If we plant more trees, we die. If we cut them all down, we die.

Folks, put on your rubber waders. The bulls**t is getting pretty deep.

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