FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE

Wednesday

This has nothing to do with politics

This particular blog entry has nothing to do with politics. Despite what you may believe, my life does not revolve around the current events in Washington. If it did, I would soon find myself relocating to a padded cell.

My other obsession in life is film. I’m a huge movie buff. Perhaps it is my passion for acting and writing that drives my NEED to constantly patronize the local movie house. I love the creativity that is brought to life on the big screen. And, it isn’t just about watching the latest blockbuster.

It is about the entire experience of going to the theatre. From standing in line to buy tickets, to the smell of movie popcorn, to the anxiety of waiting for the Feature Presentation. Oh, yeah…I can’t forget about the trailers. I love watching movie trailers! But, all of these things are equally important facets of the movie-going experience.

Nothing…and I mean nothing…will ruin this experience more than some dumbass who has no appreciation for the experience and lacks any glimmer of respect for those around him. We’ve all seen them. These are the people who refuse to turn their cellphones off. Then, when their phone rings in the middle of the movie, THEY ACTUALLY ANSWER IT! It’s just wrong.

There are also the parents who bring their newborn babies to the theatre. I'm sure that you and your significant other felt that you needed an evening out. And, I'm sure that you think your child is the most adorable creature on the face of the planet. But, when your baby begins screaming in the middle of a crowded room, I can guarantee you that those around you DO NOT AGREE. The logical thing to do would be to take the child outside, where it can scream to its heart's content. But, do the parents do that? Of course not. They sit there, without giving a single thought to those around them. Jerks.

For some time now, I have been toying with an idea that could take care of these problems. It is quite simple. Each seat in the theatre is separately wired with a remote control. These remote controls will be tied directly to a computer in the manager’s office. Each movie patron would have the ability to alert the manager about loud talkers, crying babies, people talking on cellphones, and even problems with the sound or picture of the movie.

You wouldn’t have to leave the theatre and track down an employee. With the simple click of a button, the manager can be notified, and the problem rectified.

Well, it seems someone else has turned that same idea into a reality. Regal Cinemas in New York have equipped seven theatres with the Regal Guest Response System.

I can only hope that this system works its way down south. I look forward to the day when inconsiderate jerks get kicked to the curb for their rude public behavior.

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